Friend Zoning From Sexual to Platonic in One Day

Friend Zoning From Sexual to Platonic in One Day Courtesy of Flickr.com and a hundred visions and revisions. For whatever the reason, friend zoning someone is an art. To be done well, it requires thoughtful consideration of the other persons feelings, especially if youve already gone on a few dates. You went on those dates to get to know the person, but now that you do, youre no longer attracted. This is normal and nothing to feel bad about, but its best to end things sooner rather than later. Its time to friend zone. Whats the best way to do this, you might ask. Luckily for you, Ive conducted research on the subject that dates back hundreds, nay, thousands of years, from Hercules friend zoning Meg because she took too much time away from his bicep curls, to Queen Elizabeth friend zoning all suitors because, well, she had a deathly fear of penises. As a result of my arduous studying, I can confidently say Ive become a friend-zone expert. Here are the best ways to gracefully reject a person and put him or her in the friend zone. 1) Create an elaborate riddle for the person, complete with clues that lead to more clues. Make it difficult to solve, but not so difficult that its unsolvable. The last clue will lead to a Hallmark card. Be sure to buy a stupid one, something like, A friend is someone you can share anything with, whether its your darkest secret, your forbidden crush, or (open card) that piece of cake! Write this message in the card, I know its not your birthday, but I wanted you to know how much I cherish our FRIENDSHIP. 2) Go bowling for your next date. Nothing says friend like wearing those clownish shoes, awkwardly heaving that heavy ball, and slipping along on a waxed floor. Make sure to high-five your date after each turn. At the end of the round, say, Im so glad we did this! None of my other friends ever want to bowl with me! 3) Play Monopoly with the person. Make sure its just the two of you, and that the game lasts at least three hours. Be fiercely competitive. If you have the Park Place card and she has Boardwalk, dont accept any of her trade proposals. Dates play board games to lose. Friends play board games to friggin conquer. 4) Watch My Best Friends Wedding and Friends in the same day. Be sure to emphasize how you two are just like the characters with platonic relationships. 5) Do homework together. If you can focus (or at least feign focus) on the Encyclopedia of 20th-Century   Architecture while she is in the same room, youre sure to get your point across. 6) Work on your fitness with her at your nearby recreation center. You have two options for this one: lag so far behind that she wonders if this is the first time youve worked out, or embarrass her with a tireless regimen. Be sure to sweat profusely for either option. Friends sweat together at the gym. Lovers sweat together not at the gym. Friend zoning someone is a tough thing to do. Hopefully these will allow you to avoid simply telling the person you only want to be friendsnothing is more cliche than that.